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carriefishers:

"How d’you spell ‘belligerent’?" said Ron, shaking his quill very hard while staring at his parchment.  "it can’t be B-U-M-"

"No, it isn’t," said Hermione, pulling Ron’s essay toward her.  "And ‘augury’ doesn’t begin O-R-G either.  What kind of quill are you using?"

"It’s one of Fred and George’s Spell-Check ones…but i think the charm must be wearing off…"

"Yes, it must," said Hermione, pointing at the title of his essay, "because we were asked how we’d deal with dementors, not ‘Dug-bogs,’ and I don’t remember you changing your name to ‘Roonil Wazlib’ either."

"Ah no!" said Ron, staring horror-struck at the parchment.  "Don’t say I’ll have to write the whole thing out again!"

"It’s okay, we can fix it," said Hermione, pulling the essay towards her and taking out her wand.

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

directorscommentary:

mari-on-tea:

bigbardafree:

djtetsuo89:

danistotallyuncool:

gatoishwary:

ttripod:

jodyrobots:

whaa

WHATS THIS MOVIE!?

I WISH I KNEW!!!

The name of this movie is Top Secret

Dude, top secret is such a good movie.

this movie has an entire bar fight sequence that takes place underwater

for no reason at all

next date night movie

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